Poor Romano
by Monsieur Isolation
Summary: Romano takes a walk with Spain but ends up hanging out with Germany and Prussia. COMPLETE.
1. Info

~~ Read before story. ~~

This is a random fanfiction based on a role play with tigora7136.

It has an odd to little correct flow, if at all, it makes no sense.

Disclaimer: Owns no Hetalia

~~ Thank you. ~~


	2. Poor Romano

One day, Spain and Romano were taking a walk when France showed up.

"On Honhonhonhon~ Is that Romano I see der? On honhonhon," France laughed with his disturbing rape face showing.

"Oh no! It's France!" Romano screamed. "Help me Spain, you bastard!" he then proceeded to hide behind said Spain.

"On honhonhon der iz nowhere to hide mon cher~ on honhonhon," still wearing his rape face, he seemingly floated over to the two other countries.

"Holy crap!" the Italian ran until he bumped into Germany. "Help me potato bastard! France is scared of you, so HELP MEEEEE!" at that, Romano broke into sobs.

"Ahhhhhhhh~ it's Germany!" And for some strange reason Prussia was walking by, so France decided to hide behind him. "Don't come any closer you brute or I will force you to eat Anglaterre's cooking~!"

"Gross!" Romano screeched. "English cooking!"

"God, I'm surrounded by imbeciles," Germany face palmed.

"Kesesesese damn right bruder! Kesesese we are surrounded by imbeciles!"

"That's it!" France screamed. He took out some of England's food that he had in his pocket for some reason, and threw it at both Romano and Germany. "On honhonhon bet zat you potato eating bully."

Seeing Russia passing by, Germany grabbed him and threw him at France.

"Daaaaaamn, one scary fucker throwing another scary fucker at another scary fucker, what a loop," immediately after saying this he thought about it confused himself even more than he already was. "Wait, wha~?"

"Oh, two can play this game bruder!" Prussia then grabbed Belarus, who was obviously stalking Russia, and threw her at Germany.

As Prussia threw Belarus, France screamed. "Ahhhh, I hate Russia, he is too scary!" Though, Russia had already ran away, seeing as his little sister was there.

"I'm not scared of her bruder."

"I am!" Romano cried.

Seeing Romano in such a stupid state annoyed Germany. While the pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, he threw Belarus back.

Prussia pulled out Ukraine out of practically nowhere, her giant boobs deflecting an angry Belarus. "Kesesesesese foolish little bruder, I've been doing this much longer then you."

"Where did you find Ukraine? Oh well on honhonhonhon."

"Hmmmm, she has nice boooooobs," Romano mused.

"You want me to help you or no, if so, keep the perversions to yourself!" Germany growled, and pulled England out of nowhere. "Prepare yourself."

"Oh shit," Prussia laughed. "France he has a Brit! You never told me. Hmmm oh well. Time for my special weapon." With that, Prussia randomly brought out baby America.

Very confused, France screamed, "HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET HERE?!"

England, using his magic, floated baby America over to himself and played with him.

"You owe me a favor," he aimed his attention to the Brit.

England just replied with, "Baka!"

"Nooo my weapon~!" He whined, faking tears. "Why bruder!" He glared at England, "Bloody pirate."

Completely oblivious baby America smiled at England with big puppy dog eyes, "Yay, you came to play with me?"

"Yes I have." He then ran away with the baby while screaming, "I owe you nothing you wanker!"

As England ran away with him, baby America was happily squealing and yelled, "Yay~"

For once, Romano was quiet. Giving Germany a moment to think. "Wait bruder, why are you and I fighting? I'm just protecting Romano from the French rapist, why are you protecting him?"

"I… I don't really know…" Prussia stuttered. "Hey bruder, wanna get a beer?

"D-d-d-don't leave me Prussia, mon ami?" France whimpered.

Before replying, Germany punched France in the face, hard. "Sure, let's head off." Before starting to walk away, he looked at France with a grumpy expression, "Leave Romano alone, or I'll come for you."

Romano started to sob, "G-Germany, p-please don't leave me with him…."

Giving an annoyed sigh he walked to Prussia's side. "Bruder, can we take Romano with us?"

"Hmm okay, I wanted to see his alcohol tolerance anyway, see ya frenchie." He grabbed Romano and Germany and began to run to the nearest pub.

"O- okay." He whimpered, "My beautiful face…. Stupid potato bully and pasta eating surrender monkey!"

"Th-th-thank you potat- I mean Germany and Prussia," Romano whispered.

"No problem," Germany waved it off, but then pulled Romano and Prussia into a group hug.

"Kesesesesese," Prussia hugged both of them back. "Let's go get drunk! Kesesese the awesome me demands it."

Both Romano and Germany replied, "Hell Yeah!"

"That's what I like to hear! Race you both there, loser has to buy the first round. One, two, three… Go!" He sprinted to the nearest pub.

Germany and Romano were at his heels. "Romano?" Germany looked back to find Romano had stopped and was panting heavily. Germany picked up Romano, and kept running to the nearest pub, making it there right after him. "Guess I'm buying," he sighed.

"No," Romano's face turned red. " I'm the one who slowed you down."

"Suck it losers! Keseses- eh? Romano, why do you look like a tomato?" Prussia forced his face in front of Romano's. "Hey bruder, why are you carrying the little tomato anyway?"

"He was about to pass out," Germany said plainly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Damn you bastards!" Romano wriggled free. "I just hate that I'm out of shape so much!" Then he flicked of Germany.

Germany just sighed.

"You got owned bruder, well Roma you can run when you see France, little tomato… You're buying little tomato, kesesesese larger beer for me!

"Wait, wha~" Romano had zoned out, so was lost.

"Why are you so easily confused," Germany sighed.

"Cause you are a little tomato, remember Romano, loser had to buy the first round kesesesese! Now go my little tomato eating slave," Prussia mad a grab at Romano's curl.

Germany swatted Prussia's hand away. "A few days ago Italy finally told me what that hair is, don't touch it, and trust me. And he's not your slave. Plus I said I'll buy, remember."

Romano was out of it, and was just so confused.

A perverted grin made its way onto Prussia's face, "Oh, you don't mean?" He blushed a bit. "Oh~ Kesesesese why did Ita tell you that bruder?

"Because I kept touching it, I- I didn't realize it. I was so embarrassed." He sighed (again)

"Wait! You touched my brother's curl again, you perverted bastard!" Romano screeched.

"Did you not just hear what I said?!"

"Kesesesese 'kept touching it' kesesesese, I am so~ proud of my little bruder."

Germany blushed for the first time that night, "It was for science!"

Romano grunted. "S-t-u-p-i-d potato bastard."

"Ja ja sure, for 'science', just get the beer before little tomato explodes bruder kesesese, you just wait until Hungary and Austria hear about this."

"KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU SLANDER POTATO BASTARD ONE, BUT YOU LEAVE VENICIANO OUT OF THIS!"

Germany left and came back with beer so fast neither realized he was gone.

"Whoa little tomato, no one apart from my bruder touched Feli kesesesese, someone is protective."

Romano head butted Germany.

Germany started to cough. "You know what!" Germany snapped. He grabbed and pulled so hard the little Italian hit the ground.

"Whooo~! A bar fight, I have always wanted to be in one." He tackled Germany, kicking Romano in the process.

"Bruder! Why're you tackling me?! I'm just getting tired of Romano's trash!" He kicked Prussia in the gut, then chugged his beer, that somehow survived the fall.

Romano just whimpered, trying to ignore the pain, and make his boner go away.

Prussia pouted, not showing the pain he felt in his gut, "I just wanted a bar fight, I don't get to fight in them usually, England and Scotland always take all the fun away before I get to join…." He had forgotten that Romano was on the ground. "Hey little tomato, why you on the floor?"

"Well tackle someone else, I almost spilled my beer."

Romano replied a little late, but replied none the less. "Y- you are w- well aware potato bastard two!"

Germany flicked Romano. "Enough with the rudeness and name calling, or I will repeat my actions, first by making you stand, and taking you down again!" he yelled with a Germany-fied evil Russia aura around his person.

"Kesesesese that's my bruder, boss once again kesesesese," then he lept onto a random by stander and tackling him. "Play nice little tomato kesesesese."

"Gyaaaaaaa! N- no, I- I'm sorry!" Romano covered his curl, careful not to touch it.

Germany grunted. "Tch." He grabbed some money from his coat, and hands it to Romano. "Go get me a beer," He growled. The in a mean, yet teasing voice, he stole Prussia's phrase, "Okay little tomato?"

"Kesesesese, me too~" he threw his wallet at Germany. "Little tomato Kesesesese," the he tackled the next person to walk by.

"Damn it!" Romano was shaking in fear, but did as he was told.

"Thanks," Germany chugged his beer in a millisecond, while Romano nervously handing Prussia his beer.

"Yay~ beer, beer!" he chugged his beer before tackling a man who was standing behind Romano.

"Eh, why not." The beer had loosened him up, so he tackled Romano.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Romano was surprised by Germany actions, and more pain.

Prussia then tackled two men behind Germany, accidentally kicking Romano again.

"Ack! Why me!" Romano cried. He found the right position in order to rack Germany.

"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Germany grabbed Romano's curl and started punching him in the face, ignoring the pain in his groin.

"Kesesesese," Prussia climbed onto Germany. "Throw me at the men over there bruder! I can't jump that far.

Still having to ignore the pain in between his legs, he threw Prussia with ease.

Romano was sobbing again. "Stupid potato bastard!" He was cupping his face, in total pain from all the abuse he was taking.

Finally, a couple cops showed up. Cop number one said, "Alright what the heck is happening here lad?"

"Weeeeeeee~" Prussia landed on the aforementioned two men, who were at the counter, like a cat. "Kesesesesese."

WHY IS THAT MAN FLYING?! You, blondie, what the heck happened here?" Cop two screamed while pointing at Germany. Cop one walked over to Prussia.

Germany threw a random Austria and Hungary at the them. He then proceeded to grab Prussia and Romano and run.

"Put me down!" Romano screamed.

"Yay~ Run bruder RUN!" Prussia flipped off both the police and Austria. "Kesesesese."

"Ack!" Both police screamed as they fell with Austria and Hungary on them. "WHERE THE HELL DID THESE TWO COME FROM!"

"God, how is Romano heavier than my bruder, you need to lay off the pasta Romano!"

"Shut up potato bastard!"

"I could just drop you off at France's house!"

"I'll be quiet now….."

"Keseseseseseses," Prussia climbed on Germany's back like a koala and kicked his ribs. "Go faster bruder, drop little tomato if ya have to~"

"You can run the fastest! Why do I have to be your horse!"

Romano curled into Germany, as the blonde continued to run, and clung to him, begging not to be given to France. While Romano begged, Germany threw Prussia off his back, and readjusted Romano so he wouldn't drop him.

"Bruder!" Prussia yelled. He chased after Germany, with eyes glowing red.

~~ Le Fin ~~


End file.
